{"id":1035,"date":"2013-10-07T22:50:27","date_gmt":"2013-10-08T02:50:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/?p=1035"},"modified":"2013-10-07T22:52:28","modified_gmt":"2013-10-08T02:52:28","slug":"do-we-all-have-secret-admirers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/do-we-all-have-secret-admirers\/","title":{"rendered":"Do we all have secret admirers?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Mindful<\/a><\/p>\n

There is a certain nostalgia related to the idea of having a secret admirer.\u00a0 This is a person, unknown to you, who bestows a gift in admiration. As long as the identity remains secret, there can be no expectation of repayment, reciprocity, or direct validation. \u00a0There are no strings attached.\u00a0 Moreover, if we are a secret admirer to another, we let go of our need for such reinforcement.\u00a0 The idea is provocative, and considering it may leave one longing for the experience.\u00a0 But that is for dreamers\u2014or is it?\u00a0 In this world, where personal success is espoused and independence hailed, could it be that we have \u201cadmirers\u201d who bestow gifts, but we don\u2019t recognize it?<\/p>\n

Consider the following common scenario: I sit here drinking my tea that I picked, and I paid for, with the money I earned in my job.\u00a0 I had gone to the store, made my selection, driven it home in my car, heated it in my kettle, steeped it in my cup, and carried it to my chair, so that I could sit by my computer and write my article.\u00a0 We are so self-reliant these days, or are we?\u00a0 With the simple acts above, I was able to control my destiny in one small way\u2014drinking tea.\u00a0 However, I was far from self-reliant.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s examine this from the beginning.\u00a0 Did I truly pick my tea?\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t take much detective work to discover that I most likely only selected the tea from a store shelf.\u00a0 We quickly recognize that it was likely someone unknown to me who actually picked the tea leaves.\u00a0 In fact, someone also had to put it into packaging, which was likely made by someone else, and designed by an additional someone, at a company, which someone ran.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t stop there.\u00a0 This tea came from overseas, which means that someone had to ship it across the world, using some form of transportation that someone had to design, create, and subsidize.\u00a0 The process likely involved several forms of transportation prior to arriving at the store, never mind my home.\u00a0 Once delivered to the store, someone had to stock it on shelves, and someone else had to work the register where I paid for my tea, with money that I got from a bank, which someone ran.\u00a0 One does not need to look far to recognize that this approach can be taken toward multiple aspects of the tea drinking experience, including the tea cups, the honey, and the spoon, as well as the table I set it on.\u00a0 In fact, we can follow this all the way to my experiences with previous situations and people who have influenced my life in a way that resulted in my even choosing to drink tea. \u00a0It is easy to see that my simple, seemingly solitary, comfort actually hinged on many players.\u00a0 In fact, I couldn\u2019t have done it without all these secret people.<\/p>\n

When we begin to view life through this lens, a rich web of interconnectedness emerges, and the possibilities for reciprocity become endless.<\/p>\n

One way to challenge ourselves with regard to fully appreciating this phenomenon is to bring to mind some recent accomplishment for which you felt proud, even if it was a small success.\u00a0 Now, close your eyes, and imagine that you are on a stage accepting an award for this achievement.\u00a0 Can you find five people you could thank?\u00a0 What about ten or twenty people?\u00a0 Notice that as you broaden your perspective, the network becomes larger and larger and may be quite intertwined.<\/p>\n

In this world, where independence is celebrated, it is easy to get lost in the mindset of independence and never consider how others play a role.\u00a0 Once we begin to look at the world through this lens of interconnection, we open ourselves up to see the countless ways in which we are supported by others around us, and even more so by the vast number of individuals we will never know.<\/p>\n

Some people are hesitant to adopt this way of thinking for fear that they will lose their sense of independence.\u00a0 However, the reverse is often true.\u00a0 By tapping into the connectedness we have with others, we become stronger and more aware of the support we receive from people who are \u201csecret\u201d to us. Likewise, we can celebrate the impact we are also having in supporting individuals we don\u2019t even readily know.<\/p>\n

So, as I drink my tea, I think, \u201cI will never know you secret admirer, but thanks!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a certain nostalgia related to the idea of having a secret admirer.\u00a0 This is a person, unknown to you, who bestows a gift in admiration. As long as the identity remains secret, there can be no expectation of repayment, reciprocity, or direct validation. \u00a0There are no strings attached.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[50],"class_list":["post-1035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-compassion"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2YyuX-gH","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1035"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1045,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1035\/revisions\/1045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mymindfulwayoflife.com\/blog4\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}