Inherent in traveling are new people, new places, new foods, new spaces.  Even our sense of time can become shaken.  Somewhere across the Atlantic Ocean, though I haven’t clue as to when or how, I was stripped of my old concept of time.   Travel in this time vessel did not equip my being with automatic resetting.  So, I was challenged to discover a new routine, one that I found myself stumbling into.  This required a process of rebalancing, but without my usual set-points.  There were uncertainties everywhere.  Was I hungry, was I tired? Should I sleep, should I explore?  After missing a night’s sleep on the flight abroad, my body felt like it could readily climb back in bed.  In fact, there was a clear longing, not for any bed but my bed, a lingering concept of my needs.  At the same time, the daylight was already signaling my brain to alter its pattern of creating sleep-inducing melatonin, and my cognitive mind nudged me forward, against signs of physical depletion, prodding me to seize the day.  

Carpe diem it is!  The whole situation meant honoring my observations as well as my goals…a delicate process indeed. In doing so, I found myself naturally inclined to let go of expectations.  Given the hectic state of my life before my trip, I had not planned a single thing I would do on this trip other than my hotel and my conference.  Here I was visiting a place I may never see again, but I did not find myself feeling like I needed to create an itinerary, a list, or have any particular experience.  Instead, I let each moment, each day, unfold as it did.  I trusted it was doing so in exactly the way it was meant to.  And I believe, as a result of that allowing, that I happened upon some simple, but amazing, experiences that I may not have had, if I had created and held onto a suitcase of plans and expectations.  

Perhaps my fatigue slowed my brain, or maybe I was just in awe of all the newness.  Regardless, the result was that I found myself truly, wondrously, living in the moment, which I realized I find more challenging to do at home, where my expectations are more ingrained.  At home, I have developed many ideas of what should be and what I would like to do, accomplish, and be like. Thoughts of getting more done, doing better, and being more efficient always seem to be lurking.  The net effect is wanting more.  It doesn’t really matter what.  Through my meditation, I’ve come to learn thoughts are often about doing more, having more, being more.  Surely, many of us can complete the sentence of what that “something” more is.  

I am reminded of Sharon Salzberg’s reference to our human tendency to “lean forward.”  In fact, I have, on more than one occasion, found myself chuckling inwardly at the image of our physical bodies tilted forward as we move through life.  In truth, the “disease” of leaning forward is not that funny.  Physically, we tend to embody a forward posture with strained eyes and shoulder muscles, often hunching forward in front of our computers and while driving our cars. Emotionally, it leaves us constantly wanting and limits our awareness, let alone enjoyment, of present moments—some of which can be quite delicious when experienced fully.

In fact, rather than squandering precious moments researching restaurants, accumulating star ratings, and pouring over reviews, in some misguided attempt to get the most out of my experience, I simply asked a local to recommend a nearby lunch venue.  I embarked on the short voyage without a second thought.  Even after I discovered that the gentleman’s recommended entre was a soup, I ordered it, despite a fleeting thought that it sounded far from my idea of what my first authentic Italian meal in Tuscany would be.  Whether I was too tired to vacillate or simply engaged in absorbing all that was around me, I relented control and went with it.  You can imagine my surprise, and delight, when it turned out to be the most interesting meal I had ever had, or would have on the trip.  So, I can honestly say, I experienced many delicious moments…now, the exciting challenge is to carry that feeling home and integrate it more fully into each mundane daily miracle!