There is a certain nostalgia related to the idea of having a secret admirer. This is a person, unknown to you, who bestows a gift in admiration. As long as the identity remains secret, there can be no expectation of repayment, reciprocity, or direct validation. There are no strings attached. Continue reading
-by Debbie Reagan, A Better Times Magazine
The stresses we feel during holiday times are universal, regardless of the religious holidays or celebrations we embrace. Most of the busyness of the holidays falls on mothers, many of whom work full time and/or shoulder a great deal of the family caretaking responsibility. Continue reading
Nancy Monson, a health coach, comments on the touching message on a sign written in chalk in a town 30 min outside of Newton, CT: a town that has become known for the deadly elementary school shooting two weeks ago today. Nancy spreads the idea of engaging in 26 acts of kindness in honor of the 26 people who lost their lives in this tragedy.
Such acts of violence often leave us feeling uncertain, anxious, and helpless overall. Yet many people are left with a strong pull to do “something.” In fact, this unresolved vague feeling is frequently the impetus behind some individual’s inclination to point fingers to external reasons for massacre such as the educational system or gun laws, or mental illness. However, these arguments do little to assuage our sense of dis-ease.
Psychologically, one powerful method of coping is to focus in on what is good and what good we can become involved in right now. Even during the crisis it is advisable to direct our attention to the helpers and heros such as police and kind strangers who offered assistance. At the same time it’s crucial to minimize immersion in repetitive images of violence in the media. Next, doing good can be a way to combat strong feelings of loss of control. Those who are in a position to provide monetary support may find it personally rewarding to do so. Alternately, finding a way to help others in need, even if not directly related to the tragedy, can help build back a feeling of empowerment. For more ideas and to read Nancy’s post visit http://creativewellness.us/blog/2012/12/peace-and-love-newtown.
Please share additional tips you may have found helpful in coping with such tragedies.
Too often the holidays are fraught with high expectations to which we respond with anxiety, sadness, irritability, or simply fatigue. In order to experience something richer consider the purpose of this time; Perhaps it is God, your loved ones, or doing good for others in need.
Next, make a conscious effort to turn down the volume on what is external to this purpose and amplify what you would like the focus to be. Spend time with yourself and tend to that which is important. Creating and practicing rituals helps us feel connected and keeps us in touch with what is truly important in our lives. Ask yourself if there is a tradition you have experienced or even heard about that you want to bring into your space or share with others. If none come to mind, consider listening to messages from nature, scripture, or others who grace your presence. Children are wonderful at reminding us of the simple pleasures we often miss in our rush. We just have to listen. Perhaps, from now on, you end the Christmas morning gift exchange by adorning each other in recycled wrapping paper and bows to remind each other of the unique present each of us brings. Maybe its reading a special scripture or spiritual story and allowing time for each individual to discuss what it means to them.
Too often we go through the motions of gift giving, cooking, or just doing too much overall. Traditions are most meaningful when we personalize them and tie them to the purpose in our lives.